After about twelve hours of downloading, I finally watched Ashes to Ashes. 

Confession: I still haven't seen the finale to Life on Mars. I don't know when I will. I don't know if I will -- at least for some time. So I actually have no idea what happened to Sam. I don't know how thoroughly things were resolved. I am walking blind, hoping I don't run into things. :)

It isn't Life on Mars; that's a given. Of course, I didn't expect it to be Life on Mars either. I went in expecting it to be something (a good something, a bad something, a generally different something -- something) and it was something, and I don't feel disappointed. 

I don't exactly feel elated either. As I purposefully kept myself from setting expectations, I can't very well say the episode didn't meet them. But it's not Life on Mars and I like Life on Mars and I am exceedingly wary of anything that may jepordise my love. Especially when it's still new and shiny and fresh from the box like my Life on Mars love is. 

The fact that Sam died is -- okay, I didn't actually cry but it was a close thing. Some general hand-over-mouth, despaired moaning may or may not have occured. (JOHN SIMM!) Death by suicide as well is absolutely heartbreaking to me. How ALONE Sam must have felt. 

The alternative -- Sam living seven years with Gene and Co. before ultimately dying -- is not much improvement in my mind. I'm glad he had more adventures with Gene, and Ray and Chris, but I hate how reserved and sullen Gene has become since Sam's death. (I'm assuming the two must be related, if Gene left Manchester directly after and keeps articles and really obviously Doesn't Like To Talk About It.) It hurts to watch him that way and makes the show seem less fun. I fell in love with the show partially for Sam and Gene's dynamic, and now that it's officially caput, the hook that had me is gone. 

Maybe I'm coming at this from too much of a shipper point-of-view -- that Gene mourning Sam's death reads to me the same as Remus left alone after OotP, that any view of Sam and Gene's relationship is now destined to be bittersweet at best because the end is known. And I don't like known ends. I like ambiguous ends. 

Having then lost Sam, it's hard for me to accept Alex. I liked her before she went to 1981. (Honestly, I think it's the hair. I hate her hair. Though speaking of hair -- RAY! Haha, my god Ray's funky perm. I dig it; I sooo dig it. <3) But she's the type of female character I dislike. Strong females are awesome. Pompous, need-to-learn-a-lesson females aren't so much. I like male characters with those features, which Sam sort of was, because I enjoy watching them realise their own mistakes. That's satisfying to me, and interesting. I can forgive their pomposity because I know I'll enjoy the pay-off. Female characters are different, and raging insane need-to-right is something I can't forgive. I don't enjoy watching them stumble to a realisation in that way. 

She has a different rhythm with Gene, which is necessary, yes, but I'm wary it will be unfullfilling. I kept waiting for Gene to smack her one, but instead he restrained himself. I don't want to watch a restrained Gene. I want fists flying, words scathing, engines revving Gene. (I also missed the Cortina. :(  Oh, Gene, how could you. I loved that car.) This could have some to do with Sam and this could have some to do with Alex being different, but the overall effect is less than inspiring. 

I am probably over-analysing.

Then again, I didn't fall in love with Life on Mars until sometime between the second and third episode. I'm willing to give it a few weeks before drawing any lasting conclusions. After all, there were parts I enjoyed, even in sort of a ridiculous way. Such as --

Bullet-point thoughts! (Some positive, some not.)

-- Reckless driving! White shoes! Bad guys! Interview rooms! (Though I miss the Lost and Found.) ARMED BASTARDS.
-- Ray's perm! Already mentioned but deserving re-statement. 
-- The camera angles were brilliant as ever. I love the effects use to add to the supernatural atmosphere.
-- DEAD. Hah, so fucking brilliant, that.
-- Music. I want the soundtrack. I will get the soundtrack one of these days.
-- Creepy creepy clown! Could be freakier than Test Card Girl if done right.
-- A-TEAM!
-- The sweeping dramatic music for Gene was hilarious (at first. It became cloying later. I hope they drop that.)
-- These people really suck at using automatic weapons. Generally people bleed (and die) more when being shot as with machine guns.
-- Chris has a girlfriend! Oh, Chris. How I love you. Cautious, indeed. 
-- Gene keeps articles of Sam. (Again, heartbreaking, but in a good way.) 

Um. That might be it? I think this is long enough already. I await patiently for the next episode, but again, no expectations. Now I want to read copious amounts of Sam and Gene playing around together and Sam being, you know, generally living and conscious.

Um. That might be it? I think this is long enough already. I await patiently for the next episode, but again, no expectations. Now I want to read copious amounts of Sam and Gene playing around together and Sam being, you know, around. (JOHN SIMM!)